question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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