On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
