i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Randomize
