she looked like the bat from fern gully.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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