I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I am available for nakedness
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
