My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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