What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
