this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
sex in a hospital.. check
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
