guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
