just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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