I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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