The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
