There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
