I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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