Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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