So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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