he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
