Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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