I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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