I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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