Having a random hookup so left but love u
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
