Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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