We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
