You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize