I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have fence marks all over my body
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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