Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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