I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
