It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
So squirting runs in the family.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
