i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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