Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
this beer tastes like vomit already
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.