what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.