I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
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