dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.