But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
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Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
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I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.