It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy