I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
