U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
