farters have to be the big spoon...
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
