Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Randomize
