it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
