when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
