Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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