SEEEEXXX PLEASE
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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