i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Just high enough for therapy.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
