he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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