sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
