Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Randomize
