i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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