Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
