Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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