Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
