I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize