have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
