Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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