he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
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