Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
