Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
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