She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
