the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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