Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
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