I'm lost and stupid without you.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
