She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
